This is the Holiday that Never Ends

I know I went radio silent for a while there. This month has been INSANE for more reasons than I can articulate. First, let's play catch up!

Topics!

1. Rosh Hashanah
2. Vegetarian Feasting
3. Slichot
4. Yom Kippur
5. IDF Museum
6. Sukkot
7. Tiyul
8. Simchat Torah

So we were in the Jewish High Holidays, which basically consists of Rosh Hashanah (New Year), Slichot (Repenting), Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), Sukkot (uh... "huts"), and Simchat Torah (Yay we finished reading the Torah this year and now we're going to start all over!).

Since I wasn't very religious in the states, I don't think I ever realized how... long... and... intense... the high holidays are. Have a nice meal here, build a shack and eat in it there, apologize to some friends, and carry on.  But in Israel, these are national holidays, and everything stops. Everything closes, no one can make plans, nothing can get done, it's just weeks and weeks of dashing from one friend's house to another family member's house and eating and eating and fasting and eating.

There are obvious upsides to this... it's fun! Holidays are fun! Amazing food and company. But the downside is when you're trying to adjust to a new country, sometimes the most useful thing is to get into a routine, and that's really impossible when there's a new holiday every few days, and when the holidays themselves last for days and days.  So I'm definitely nearing my limit for how many festivities I can withstand.

All that said, I think I've been doing a good job of making the most of things :)

It was really hard to blog during it though, so sorry for the long delay.

HERE. WE. GO. HOLIDAYS!

Rosh Hashanah 

I was really intimidated going into Rosh Hashanah. Because of the way it combined with Shabbat, it was 3 days long, and in Jerusalem, that means 3 days of no public transportation, almost everything closed, and everybody being busy. I was scared that I would be lonely and homesick so I made about a million plans to fill up the time.

One of the things I did was go to Idit's family's house. Idit is one of the advisors of my program and she is so sweet and welcoming.  Her family is Moroccan so they have a huge dinner and festivities! Her family was SO friendly and welcoming.  Her mother came up to me and before saying a word just swept me up in a big hug and then kissed my face and said, "I could tell you needed a mother's embrace!!" and I said, "How did you know??" and she said, "I just knew. I just knew."  I did need that. I miss my mom!

The meal was enormous, there had to be 10 courses, and they just kept coming and coming. And there were tons of little kids who between courses would run out to the garden to catch lizards.  One of them found a chameleon:

Idit's brother is part of the Israeli police force and also a scholar.  We talked a lot about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, Israeli history, and racial tensions in Israel currently.  And he gave me and Kiyomi copies of his book and was gracious when I asked him to sign :).

Me and Idit!

Other things I did on Rosh Hashanah...
-Lunch at Shai's house with rabinical students - Fun!
-Lunch at Jess's house with other rabinical students - Fun!
-Dinner at Sarah Leah's house with awesome chicks and tons of food -Fun!
-Dinner with roomie - Fun!

And I wandered around a lot and marveled at the empty streets.  This is Rothschild blvd, which is usually super crowded...

And this is Paris Square in Jerusalem, which usually has at least SOME people!

And this is just a lovely Jerusalem sunset shot :)

Slichot

So Rosh Hashanah is the New Year, and then there's this period called Slichot, where you beg God and your fellow man to forgive you for all the wrongs you committed the previous year and to write you in the "book of life" aka give you a good forecast for the next year.  In Jerusalem, you could always hear people singing and chanting and asking forgiveness.  I'm really not into beating myself up, so this was an awkward holiday for me, but the songs were sometimes nice, especially since I couldn't really understand them.

My group did an excursion into the old city starting at 10 or so until 3 am and it was CRAZY! People come from all over the world to apologize in Jerusalem.  It was so packed with all different people.

My favorite part was visiting the tomb of King David, who was obviously one of the greatest leaders of the Jews, but also one of the most flawed. And what's special about David is (Among many other things, I supposed) he admitted when he was wrong and asked forgiveness, which is why it's traditional to visit his tomb on this holiday.  It was a really moving experience for me.

Yom Kippur
Matat came to Jerusalem for Yom Kippur! For her, it was a big deal, kind of pilgrimage-y. She grew up in greater Tel Aviv, which is not so spiritual in general, and she got excused from the family gathering there to come spend it with me in Jerusalem. When she arrived the first thing we did was go to the grocery store and buy piles and piles of vegetables and other things to make some of her mom's recipes, and we cooked most of the night and the next day.  You know Matat and I were a friend-match made in heaven because we share a love for 90s dance music. It was a very Salt-N-Pepa and LaBouche kind of cooking event.

I lit the candles!

There's no light like there is in Jerusalem

First course! Soup and Salad!

Second course! Salmon, peas with peppers, rice with yellow raisins and almonds, and roasted veggies!

My gorgeous dinner date!

I ate a LOT!

Dessert was apples + honey, honey cake, halva cake, and tea!

<3

I had a cold, so I drank water, but I didn't eat. We walked all around the city and even went to the Kotel. I got my pray on! But I approached with gratitude rather than repentance. As you might notice, it's traditional to wear white on Yom Kippur. No one drives so the streets were empty, and you can just walk down the middle of the road, and everywhere people in white stroll about.

We went to a closing service at the Great Synagogue which was lovely, then heated up the leftovers and ate tons and tons, and then went to Matat's friend's friend's house and then got drinks. Matat seems to know everyone in Jerusalem so it was lots of fun!

IDF Museum

Louisa and I are in charge of planning a seminar for the other fellows about the military and how it impacts society (broad, I know... we're working on narrowing.) And we decided to go to the official IDF museum to get a baseline for our research.

It was pretty bizarre, I have to admit. It felt more like a display for military enthusiasts than an archive or a story of the formation of a national defense force.  It was rooms and rooms of equipment without much text, really.  For example...

Outfit for Mount Hermon, maybe? Does The North Face work with the IDF?

I have to say this kind of upset me. You have to remember that almost all soldiers in the IDF were drafted, and they're drafted at 18.  These are 18 year olds who are obligated to protect their country. Like my friends. It really made me nauseous thinking of my friends in gas masks. Obviously it's hard to describe in brief here.

Know all ye landlubbers!

So many guns. There were so many rooms full of guns.

More guns.

Lots of gas masks.

The most interesting room was dedicated to the chiefs of staff over the years, which had lots of interesting documents and candid photos of some of Israeli's most famous statesmen and generals.  But overall it was a head-scratcher of a museum.  Is it for Israelis? It didn't seem like it.  Is it for Americans? It kind of felt like it was for New Hampshirites :P.

Sukkot

Sukkot is seven. days. long. It's kind of a harvest holiday. And it's also a holiday reminding us of how we wandered in the desert, which frankly feels out of order to me (why doesn't it come after Pesach then?). We build huts and decorate the huts which are called... sukkot. These sukkot need to be non-permanent structures. We're supposed to be a bit exposed to the elements and to remember that everything we have God gave us (and could take away), and not to get too comfortable.  But then I heard an argument that actually the meaning should be the opposite, because if you're wandering in the desert in tents and stuff like early Israelites, then maybe hanging out in a sukkah was actually rather lavish. Well hm.

Rivka invited me to spend the first night, which is the most important, with her family in Karnei Shomron, which is a settlement in the West Bank.

Now, for those of you that hear "settlement in the West Bank" and react in this fashion:

Indeed, brace yourselves for the following intense images:

Tuna!

Batya, Rivka's younger sister, and her husband Tomer. They are the sweetest, best people.

Tomer, Batya, and Rivka trying to work out how to fit 18 people into our sukkah.

Gorgeous kitchen! Rivka's parents designed it themselves!

Gorgeous

I love their house

A lot.

Pretty, quiet neighborhood.

With hills!

Our sukkah! I helped hang things.

Rivka and her baby niece, Rona. Rivka's mother made up a song that she constantly sings about Rona. I don't know every Hebrew word, but the English is great: "Rona Bona, The Little One. She's so cute and also chubby." True words.

Dinner was AMAZING. I'd never had ceviche before, but now I'm totally addicted. There was so much food and I just kept eating and eating and eating. 

Rivka's brother, Eli, and Rona!

It was great to meet the rest of Rivka's family. They were all such kind and warm people, and really smart and funny. I felt totally welcome. It was also great to see where Rivka grew up. It is so totally gorgeous. I wish I'd taken pictures of the hills around her house. It makes sense to me why she loves the outdoors so much, and why so many of her family members are tour guides.

But her town also (I found out via wiki) suffered a Palestinian suicide bombing in 2002 which killed 3 teenagers, seriously injured 6 people, and wounded 30 more.  I remember Rivka telling me about it now, and I think that really must shape an upbringing... living in such a gorgeous place that's worth protecting and is violently threatened.


Tiyul

For the second half of sukkot, the Dorot fellows went on a tiyul... like a hiking trip. We went all around the north, and it was lovely! I shall tell the tale in photos...

We went to this park that curved through a swamp and there was a tree with a microphone hooked up to it so kids could converse with the tree and ask it questions. I asked what its favorite food was.

At Hula lake park, you can see mountains in Syria in the background. It's pretty crazy how drastically different worlds are so close together in the Middle East. This area was also significant for me because it's where the Ben Canaans settle in Exodus, it's the land they see when they first enter Israel from the north that makes them fall in love with it.

You can't really see in this photo, but there were crazy migrating birds making all kinds of crazy formations in the sky.

Water Buffalo!

Next we went to a Druze village. You should wiki the Druze if you don't know what they are, it's complicated. But they're a minority in Israel that for the most part identifies as Israeli, serves in the IDF, etc. We did a cooking class with them. Here's Louisa being adorable.

Making stuffed grape leaves!

The food was DELICIOUS. Especially that stuffed zucchini you see in front of you. Yes, I got the recipe. Yes, I will make it for you.

<3

The Druze/Palestinian/Arab/Israeli Village of Shujya!

No idea what this says, but it looks cool and it made me think of Molly.

Then we went to Rosh Hanikra, a gathering of grottos riiiiight on the Lebanese border. Though it's very beautiful, our guide told us that this particular view is a mixed one for Israelis, as it's also the spot where Israel and Lebanon trade POWs, and bodies.

We went on through, of course.

The water was SO BLUE.

Whoa.

:D

Some kind of David and Goliath reenactment, though I'm not sure of the geographical connection. 

Then we went to Kibbutz Tuval, the collective community our advisor, Neil, helped found. The views were amazing!

Whoa.

Then we went to Beit Alfa, the site of a very old Synagogue. They excavated a mosaic floor and you can see both the Roman Zodiac and the Binding of Isaac, which is very unusual.

"Doroters Doroting"

We finished at this collection of springs that weren't hot springs, but they weren't cold, either. They were warm springs. It was so fun!

Simchat Torah

Every year we read the Torah all the way through, with a designated portion to read each week. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing a cycle and starting a new one, and contains a lot eating, drinking, singing, and literally dancing with the Torah. Like taking the huge scrolls and dancing around with them.

But I have to tell you, after about 4 straight weeks of holidays, I was holiday-ed out. So I went to Batya and Tomer's house for dinner, which was lovely and fun, and then I went on a date, which was also lovely and fun.  It was great to wander the streets of Jerusalem and see the religious families bustling about, coming and going and all the kids running in the streets.

Despite the title of this post, the holidays DID end, Thank God.

And then even crazier shit went down!

Next time on my blog: Homelessness! :D

Life on the Titanic

Topics!
Barak Ravid
Awkward Shabbat Dinner
Dance Party and The Great Synagogue
Body Work
Eating Actual Food
Ariane and Shai's Sinai Campaign
Patience, the Ultimate Virtue
A photo


Barak Ravid

Last week, Barak Ravid came to speak to the Dorot fellows. Ravid is a pretty big deal here, one of the star reporters of Haaretz, one of Israel's leading newspapers. Before becoming a journalist, he was a captain in the IDF, in the 8200 Unit, which is arguably the most elite intelligence unit. He's pretty far left and I'm pretty far right*, but no matter how you slice it, he's a brilliant, accomplished guy and it was really exciting to hear him speak. He's also a really good presenter, and very candid. He basically briefed us on his view of the current Israeli political scene and what to expect/look out for this coming year.  Most of what he said was off the record, so I'm not going to repeat it here (and you can read his articles if you're interested, of course), but there was one quote from him I liked a lot and think it's safe to share:

"In order for the situation to get much better, it first needs to get much worse. But that doesn't mean you won't have the best year of your life here. I like to say that here we are on the Titanic, and we're just rearranging the deck chairs. But you know, the Titanic was a pretty cool place to be. Let's hope it doesn't sink while you're here. And let's hope, after you leave, we can right our course, and you can come back on the Titanic."

Hear, hear.

Awkward Shabbat Dinner

Last Friday I went with Rebecca to a gigantic community Shabbat dinner, with about 150 people there, mostly new-ish olim (immigrants). It was fun and there was a lot of food and shots of arak. It was also pretty awkward because I was sitting between two interesting characters.

Ariane: So what do you do?
CounterTerroristGuy: I just got out of the army two days ago.
Ariane: Congratulations! What did you do?
CTG: I was in a counter terrorist unit, Duvdevan.
Ariane: Ah. (pretending like she knows what he just said)
LondonGuy: That's the name of his unit. It's a very elite unit. You need to pass a lot of tests to get into it.
Ariane: Oh.
CTG: *waits expectantly*
Ariane: I never really know how to respond. Do I say "that's nice." or do I say "Oh my God, Wow! Look at you! Fabulous!"
LondonGuy: She's saying you're a sexpot.
Ariane: What? No, I didn't say that...
CTG: *eyebrows*
Ariane: I mean... it's not that I... uh... *stuffs challah in her face*
LondonGuy: You should just say, 'that's very impressive.'
Ariane: That's very impressive.
CTG: Thanks.
LondonGuy: I was in the infantry in Nahal.
Ariane: That's very impressive.
LondonGuy: It's not that impressive, actually.
Ariane: I'm impressed, anyway.

These two things seem to happen a lot:
Random Wingmen: They didn't know each other. They just swoop in to assist.
"Elite Units": Pretty much everybody I meet says they were in an elite unit. Is it true? Do I just run into accomplished people a lot? Or do they think I'll just believe them? Because I do believe them, I don't really know what else to think.

Although in this case, I did check, and it seems legit. I looked up his unit and it's pretty intense. If he was in that unit, actually. Who knows? I sure don't.

Dance Party, Religiousness, and the Great Synagogue

Saturday night after Shabbat, I went to my friend Shev's dance party in Nachlaot. It was really fun! But also very different from your average dance party, because almost everyone there was religious. Which means they danced wildly but they didn't touch each other. A sweaty, fabulous dance party without grinding. Really interesting and fun!

It's easy to pick me out at gatherings like that as non-religious because my skirt is a bit shorter than most girls' and my shoulders are showing. And what I found on Saturday night was that people were touching ME much more than they would even at non-religious parties. Lots of dudes' hands on my elbows and arms and the small of my back in passing or in conversation, even extended cheek kisses in greeting or goodbyes. I tolerated this with some vexation, but I really wanted to say "Hey! Just because I'm not shomer negiah* does not mean that I'm a petting zoo! Keep your hands to yourself!"

Which brings me to a general woe I have here, regarding where I fit on the spectrum of religiousity.  I think in America, being "religious" has mostly to do with your belief.  You could be a religious Christian and still sin all the time, if you passionately believe in Jesus. But in Israel, being religious has really to do with your behavior.  So you can be religious and have serious doubts about God, but if you keep kosher, keep Shabbat, are shomer negiah, etc, then you would be classified as "religious." Whereas I, who believe in God and hold Judaism very dear to me, but I don't observe modesty rules or touching rules (beyond my personal ones) would basically be classified as "secular" here. It's just awkward because I don't think I'm secular at all. I think I'm pretty religious. But I'm not in the Israeli sense.

And certainly not in the Orthodox sense. One guy leaving the party asked if I wanted to go with him to a midnight service at the Great Synagogue. (Only in Jerusalem, right?) So I said sure, because I've been meaning to go inside. It's a gorgeous building and the service was lovely, with a 30-person choir (very unusual in Jewish services) and a really talented cantor. But I was standing on the women's balcony (in Orthodox services women have a private level from the men) surrounded by women in wigs (click here for details on THAT!) that were very nice and offering to share their prayer books with me, but still I got extreme flashbacks to the miserable divided services of my childhood and I kind of had a panic attack and fled.

So I'm not religious... but I'm not secular... another identity crisis for me!

Body Work
I met with Michal, my new instructor for... I don't know what to call it but Body Work. Michal is AWESOME. She's half Japanese (we can speak Japanese together, it's fun :) ) and was raised in Jerusalem. She's 36 and just had her first baby with her boyfriend and they have this huge Bohemian type house in Arnona, a gorgeous neighborhood south of the Old City of Jerusalem. In her house she has an art studio and a kind of dance/yoga studio. She's a dancer and choreographer and teacher, and with me we're going to be doing a mix of dance/yoga/other kinds of exercise + assignments on exploring Jerusalem + related reading + related writing, talking about body image issues, body ownership issues, etc... I'm really excited. Our first session was great, I'm really looking forward to working with her.

Eating Actual Food

I've been consuming a lot of actual food.

"But Ariane," you might ask, "What else would you be eating?"

Welllll in the states, I ate a lot of things that came frozen, dehydrated, or in a box, that involved a microwave.

Not only does Israel lack my artificial, lazy food of choice, but my apartment doesn't have a microwave. Israel also lacks really almost ANY appealing junk food. Their junk food is really very strange.

So what am I left with? Well... actual food. Like vegetables. And more vegetables. And eggs. And sometimes tuna. But I've started eating cut up tomatoes and cucumbers drizzled with olive oil and salt as a SNACK. My body is freaking out about what to do with all of these vitamins. How is it supposed to operate with actual materials after nearly a decade of running on processed cheese and chocolate?

Ariane and Shai's Sinai Campaign

For my fellowship, we were paired up and assigned a major conflict in Israeli history to research and present to the group in five minutes or less. I was paired with Shai, and we were assigned the 1956 Sinai Campaign, which was a pretty absurd thing, I now understand.

You should google it before you read what we made or it might not make that much sense.

But Shai and I decided to create the campaign as if the major players had facebook, and here it is. (Ignore the Latin on top) We got lots of laughs from the other fellows, it was fun :).

Patience, the Ultimate Virtue

I think the biggest thing I've learned so far this trip is about patience.

When you move to a new country, you're going to be uncomfortable. Adjusting to new water, new food, new time, new people, a new language, new laws, new customs. And adjusting to a lack of what you'd had before - close family, a home, a routine, a title, a purpose, a community. And I think I was in denial a bit at the beginning about the fact that I was going to be uncomfortable. Because I love Israel, and I already have friends here, I think I subconsciously insisted to myself that everything was going to be super smooth. But what that meant was that I tried to convince myself that I had it all figured out and I tried to rush a lot of the adjustment and creation and connection process that needs to happen more slowly, and it didn't really work.

I need to be patient and lean into the discomfort and enjoy it. Discomfort means that new things are happening and I'm learning and growing.

A Photo
There are no pictures in this post! I need to take more pictures, I realize. So here's a handy dandy infographic my friend from the IDF spokespersons unit gave me to help me figure out what the different units are so I can feel less awkward at Shabbat dinners.

From the IDF Blog.




*In the US, I'm pretty left.  In Israel, I'm still left on social issues, but I'm right on diplomacy issues, and diplomacy seems to take precedence here when you're describing your political affiliation in one word or less.

*Shomer Negiah - a level of observance at which people do not touch a member of the opposite gender other than their spouse

A Shabbat of Wisdom

This Shabbat I went to stay with Matat and her family in Petach Tikvah, which is a suburb of Tel Aviv.  I love her family! They are the sweetest, warmest people, and they're so smart and interesting and always have lots of things to say.

Traveling before Shabbat is kind of a shit-show, because everyone is trying to get home before Shabbat sets in. The bus from Jerusalem to Petach Tikvah quickly filled, and they kept letting people on after all the seats were gone. I only realized there were no seats as I was halfway down the aisle and surrounded by people on both sides so... I sat on the floor and hugged the orchid I was bringing to give to Matat's family :). (I like bringing flowers on Shabbat since I don't drink wine and am totally clueless in a wine store.)

Me and a Yeshiva boy and the orchids and a lot of people's feet

It was fascinating!

But so worth it, because Matat picked me up at the station and we caught up all afternoon. She is such an incredible friend. She's so easy to talk to and she's hilarious and she really makes me feel at home.

Ariane: So can I use the soap and shampoo and stuff that's in the shower?
Matat: ...Is this a question I should ask in the States?
Ariane: Well, in the US, the answer would almost definitely be 'yes,' but sure, it's polite to ask.
Matat: In Israel this is an absurd question. You are my girl, we are sisters. Of course, yes, of course. Don't ask this.

Something Matat says I think illustrates how different I am in Israel. Matat has only ever seen me in Israel, and so she said, "Ariane, you are not a hater. You are just love love love all the time. You love everyone and you're always happy."

Matat's mother, Anati, made a spectacular dinner with about a million courses... chicken, fish, ravioli, rice, stuffed peppers (FROM HEAVEN!), several salads, baba ganoush, tons more... plus several deserts including amazing honey cake. (She gave me an entire cake to take home with me, too... YUM.)  It was so nice to be with a family on Shabbat, and I really felt included. Dudu (her dad) gave lots of fatherly advice, Anati brought more more food, her baby brother Elon teased as baby brothers do. Shabbat is meant for family time! I feel really lucky to get to experience that with them. :)

Dudu let me try a bite of his favorite dessert... challah with tons of butter and honey on it. It was delicious.

One of my favorite things about hanging out with the Gome family is all of the Matat-isms and Dudu-isms that I pick up, and all of their stories.  Here are some of my favorites, some funny, some serious.

On Living in Jerusalem
Dudu: Let me give you some advice as an American living in Jerusalem.  You are American, and you should always stay American. Jerusalem is a magical place. You will, I hope, meet many very interesting people. They will try to lead you down many paths, sometimes down a path that is not your own. If you meet someone who dazzles you, you need to stop and find someone who knows you and talk to them before you do anything. You shouldn't ever undo who you are, but only build on top of it. All the values and experiences you were brought up with... build on top of them, but don't throw them away. If you throw them away, you will be just... a puppy in the circus. Do you understand? For example, I was raised Orthodox. I don't say kiddish anymore. I drive on Shabbat, now. But I was raised that way and no one can ever take it from me.

On Israeli Attitudes in Business
Matat: Yeah, in Israel, it's hard to make it because everybody here is trying to be in the top of the heap. Not a lot of people are so complacent here, we're all trying to be the king. We can't all be the king. I think it's because of something no one says but it's the truth: we do things now and we do them fast because any day we might die.

On Racial Tensions and Real Estate
Dudu is very concerned (rightfully so) about racism in Israel, and we talked a lot about this. He said "Let me tell you a joke to illustrate the problem.  So there's this town, in which Arabs and Jews live side by side. And there was an Arab family, and a Jewish family, and they were neighbors, and they got along fine. One day, the Jew decided he wanted to remodel his house, so he brought in a team and started building.  And a few weeks later, he noticed that his Arab neighbor was remodeling his house in the exact same design.  So the Jew decided to paint his fence green, and he brought in painters, and soon enough, his Arab neighbor also painted his fence green. So finally the Jew went to his neighbor and he said, "What are you doing?" And the Arab said, "I'm remodeling my house, what are you doing?" and the Jew said, "Yes, I am remodeling my house, too.  I want to sell it. Why are you doing that?" And the Arab said, "I also want to sell my house." And the Jew said, "Well how much do you want for your house?" And the Arab said, "400,000 shekels. How much do you want for yours?" And the Jew said, "I want 200,000 shekels. Why do you want 400,000? Why so much?" And the Arab said, "Because I don't have any Arab neighbors."

I recommended he read "The Case for Reparations", and I recommend you read it too if you haven't already! Not that I would make a direct correlation in any way, but the resulting dynamics are similar.

On Romance and Road Trips
Dudu: When I was in the states I traveled all over! Washington, Miami, New York, Chicago, LA, The Grand Canyon, Zion National Park...
Ariane: Yes! I think I want to make aliyah next fall, but before that, over the summer, I want to go back to the US and do a huge road trip all over... see yellowstone... the badlands...
Dudu: Then you will never come back to Israel.
Ariane: What? No, you said that last summer, and look, here I am.
Dudu: On your road trip you will find a man, your man, and then you will never come back to Israel.
Anati: Better that you find a man in Israel, take him on your road trip, and then come back here!
Dudu: Yes, because as chazal said, when you find a partner, you find an owner.  It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, when you find a partner, you find an owner.
Ariane: You guys own each other, huh?
Dudu: Yes, for 30 years!

On The Current Political Climate
Dudu: There is a storm brewing over Israel. People saying we have no right to exist. It's very scary, very dangerous. It's a storm, and drops are falling on Jews all over the world.

On Shabbat in Jerusalem, And Being A Jew in the Jewish Nation
Dudu: Of course, Shabbat in Jerusalem is like nowhere else in the world. You have to confront yourself. What kind of person do I want to be? What do I want to do? Am I afraid of being alone? But you're not alone. You go out into the street and you see all the people walking around like you. And you realize you are not alone, you live in Israel, and you are never alone.

On Writing
Dudu: When you finish writing something, a part of you dies. When you have a great experience and you write about it, you can never get it back. It's gone from you.

This last one has given me a lot of pause. It's true that when I write something, I usually feel a closure about it that I didn't before, but I always thought that was a good thing. And actually, I think writing preserves experiences for me. I love to look back at my blog entries about previous trips, there are details there that I'd forgotten, bits of memories that I'd lost.

That said, for all I write about here on this blog, there's 80% more I don't write about, because it's too personal, or it might defame someone, or I'm still waiting to see how things turn out before I decide how to describe them. Do I also not write about them because I don't want to lose ownership over those experiences? Is that were "too personal" comes in, or is it something else?  Lots to ponder.

Matat and her Dad

***

In the morning, Anati made another delicious breakfast and then Elon drove me to the sheirut to go into Tel Aviv. On Shabbat, busses do not run as I've said, but in Tel Aviv, he sheirut runs. It's like a big van that goes along a set route and stops when you ask the driver to pull over. They used to intimidate me because of my bad Hebrew, but now that I have a smart phone with GPS, I just look at the map and I know enough Hebrew to indicate when I want to get off.

Anyway I met up with Sam at Matat's cafe and we spent the afternoon just chatting and eating and catching up. Daniel from Ein Prat came by to say hi, too!  Apparently one of the creators of the Iron Dome was in the cafe with all his little daughters. Matat said he was nice!

Ariane, Sam, delicious food.

Sisters - אחיות - Achot <3

Then Sam and I got sushi and I got on a bus back to Jerusalem.

So grateful for amazing friends and this beautiful country. Shavua Tov, everybody! <3 Love love love to you from Israel-Ariane.

An Outrageously Fabulous Dream

Earlier this week I had lunch with Deeds!

Deeds (Yedidya) is a good friend from Ein Prat last year. One thing I love about Deeds is conversations with him get really deep really fast.  No sooner were our salads delivered than we were catching each other up on our existential angst.  The hard part about new programs is doing a whole lot of introductions and going a while before it feels like someone really knows you.  It was great to have this time with Deeds to be totally myself and get some good advice.

One of the things Deeds told me was to remember that while there's a lot of good in immersing myself in Israeli culture and learning Hebrew and building a community for myself here, there's also a lot of good in who I am already and the values and culture I have, and not to sacrifice all of it to be "Israeli." I think Deeds is very wise.

I also started Hebrew this week! I'm going twice a week to a private tutor who is awesome. She knows a lot about the origin of words and the way the language really works under the hood, which makes it a lot easier for me to grasp the mechanics. I really, really love studying Hebrew. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I remember from working with Erela last year, I thought I'd only remember the first chapter but I actually was pretty competent through reviewing the first 8! So that's great.

Meanwhile, my advisor approved my idea about doing a super physical semester.  It looks like my learning plan is going to be something like...
-3 hours Hebrew tutoring, 4 hours Hebrew homework/review/drills (7 hours)
-1 hour meeting with tutor about sexuality in the talmud/zohar/modern Jewish thinking/ 4 hours reading (5 hours)
-3 hours Beit Midrash (talmud study)
-4 hours volunteering on a farm in Jerusalem hills doing grunt work
-1 hour meeting with this personal trainer/dancer/choreographer/yoga instructor/philosopher about body work and body image and things like that and
-X  (5? 7?) hours implementing their advice doing... whatever it is she recommends I do

I have no idea what that's going to end up looking like but I'm excited about it. I will keep you all posted.

Shai's shirt at dinner tonight... You had me at Shalom :)

Tonight we had a dinner with previous Dorot fellows which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I love meeting alums... they are such amazing, accomplished people.  They're so inspiring and they make me feel so hopeful about how I might turn out :).

Very often lately I just have these moments of overwhelming gratitude. I mean... who gets to pack up and live in their dream city and just focus for a year on improving themselves and growing and having enriching experiences? It really does feel like a dream. An outrageously fabulous dream.

The other day I ran down Azza street and past the Knesset and it was sunset and it was all lit up.  A Jewish parliament in a Jewish state! I'm such a sap, haha, I got a little emotional about it...or maybe I was just winded.  Anyway, then I ran up Ramban street and past the Great Synagogue on King George and I noticed this inscription...

And of course I found it very moving, especially after just running past the Knesset.

The other night I had this conversation in an outdoor bar in Jerusalem:

Him: When I went to Poland in high school... I couldn't get in touch with that feeling of mourning. I didn't feel grief. All I felt was anger, I was so angry and I wanted some kind of revenge. But you know what the best revenge is, right?
Me: Smoking hookah with me in Jerusalem, in our very own country? :)
Him: Well yes, and also I felt it strongly when I was in the army.

I was going to go out tonight, but there are water problems in my building and the water is temporarily shut off, so I can't shower, and you cannot go out without showering after a day in Israel in the summer. So I'm finally getting a chance to do my Hebrew homework and have a rest. AND, our neighbor took me and Rebecca around to show us how to turn our water on and off at the valve, so that was interesting. Never a dull moment.

Tomorrow I'm going to Petach Tikvah to have Shabbat dinner at Matat's house! I'm looking forward to it :D.

Also, get ready for a puppet show Shai and I are putting on for the other fellows about the 1956 Sinai Campaign. It's going to be epic.

Physical Israel

The other day I was talking to this Israeli about what I want my new book to be about.  And I said, "I like to let my location influence me so I'm soaking up Jerusalem for a little while before I decide the direction of the book, but I think it's going to have something to do with the immediate, physical, action-based way of doing things here as opposed to how lethargic and insular things feel in America."

And he said, oh yeah, we have a word for that, תכלס - tachless.

“Speaking ‘tachless’” means speaking to the point – delivering a clear and unambiguous message. Saying “In ‘tachless’…” means “the essence is…”. In recent years (as a part of a slang trend), Israelis even started saying “tachless” as a stand alone word, meaning “I completely agree with what you just said, you spoke to the point!”.
-From here.

I agree that this is something I love about Israeli culture, I love that they tell it like it is.  At least, when they're not being extremely sarcastic or lying by massive omission.  But while this word gets at my idea about immediacy and action-based, it leaves out the physical part, which is what I'm really interested in.

A lot has been written about the physicality of Israel. For all the laws in the Tanakh dedicated to farming practices, before the founding of the modern state of Israel, most Jews around the world were far removed from working the land. They were forced into insular communities and were often the only ones in said community able to read and write, or for religious purposes lend money (a problem that entire books have been written about, see History of the Jews for a start...), so they had lots of middle-man type jobs... clerks, doctors, lawyers, bankers... and then of course you had those that learned texts all day and led purely religious lives.  But the point is, you didn't find a lot of Jewish farmers or laborers in Europe.

Which adds to the marvel of the nation's modern founding because, like I talked about in the last entry, you have all these teenagers who came from communities in which they what - studied Torah? Trained in the law? Studied finance?  And now they were creating farming communities and building homes and digging drainage ditches and fighting in skirmishes. In the new Israel, Jews had to fill out every level of society, yes, there was a Jewish Prime Minister, but there were also lots of Jewish farmhands. It wasn't just this insulated, ghetto-ized Jewish middle class.

Israel changes me a lot, and one of the ways I like best is it gets in there with a crow bar and pries me out of my head. Not (necessarily) because I'm Jewish,  maybe just because I'm a nerd, in the states I basically live in my head. I have an intellectual career, I studied very text-based topics in undergrad and grad school, I'm a writer, I'm attracted to cerebral pursuits always. Most of my life I've been preparing myself to be a professor of one sort or another. Gabi pointed me to Ken Robinson's talk on creativity in education chiefly for this quote: "There's something curious about professors... they live in their heads. They live up there, and slightly to one side. They're disembodied, you know in a kind of literal way. They look upon their body as a form of transport for their heads. Don't they? It's a way of getting their head to meetings."

In Israel I lose interest in those things pretty quickly. I still love Tanakh study but mostly because of how exciting it is to study Jewish history and law in a place where it is lived and real.

Lived and real, I guess that's what I'm trying to get at. In the States I run once or twice a week, in Israel I go for a run almost every day. I love the Jerusalem hills and the air here, I love getting to know the city this way. And I'm surrounded by vegetable markets and I love to buy them and chop them up and cook them and eat them. I'm so much more interested here in what comes out of the land and what enters my body. And I keep kosher here (in a general sense) so I'm already more mindful of what passes into my bloodstream. I love hiking (I think everyone here loves hiking?) and the beach and touching how warm the stones are in Jerusalem, and sitting in the sun and baking like a soft, white, American potato. And I have to drink so much more water here, just constantly chugging it, and every street has enormous fruit trees on it, their branches all weighed down by it, and flowers of every color are always literally spilling over fences and into the road. Everything is just so tactile here, people are more tactile too, both in their affection and when they shove you out of the way because they want to get on the bus first.

At the Dorot alumni panel, one thing Aaren said really stuck with me. She said "When I was in the states, I was really square. Just square, in every way. And on Dorot I thought what I wanted to do was thoroughly un-square myself. And I set out to do whatever would most un-square me."

I think that I love travel and risk-taking and putting myself out there too much to be VERY square, but I'd like to be even less so. And I've been thinking about what un-squaring would look like for me personally, and I think that whatever it is will be a physical process.
-Tons of yoga?
-Volunteer on a kibbutz doing manual labor?
-Cooking classes?
-Some kind of orienteering class?
-Some kind of really uncomfortable, long hike?
-Diving in Eilat?
-Learning to boat?
-Getting a personal trainer and doing something with weights?

You guys know me. What would unsquare me? What normal patterns of mine do you think I need to challenge?

Love of God, Love of Land, Love of Man

Topics!
Health Weirdness
Orientation
Matat
Plans

HEALTH WEIRDNESS

My adjustment to Israel has been generally pretty smooth, thankfully! I think it's because I love it so much here and it feels like home, so I don't feel homesick (Though I do miss my friends and family, of course),  and I already have so many friends here that I feel really loved and supported.

But my health hasn't been fantastic.  Until last night I really didn't sleep more than an hour in the night, and I could barely keep any food down. I had this cycle of pain where I'd miss a meal, then I'd feel too nauseous to eat, even though the nausea was because I was so hungry.

Erin (an alumna of Dorot) suggested it might be because I'm dehydrated, so I started chugging water like nobody's business. I'm going to try to force myself to eat at normal times, even if I don't feel like it, to see if that will help things normalize.

ORIENTATION

This week we had Israel orientation, two days in Jerusalem and two days in Tel Aviv.

In Jerusalem, we had a really interesting speaker, Avraham Silver, who is a professor at Hebrew U. He gave a kind of speed-summary of the Jewish side of modern Israeli history.  It was fascinating, and for me, very uplifting.

One of the things he talked about was how Tel Aviv was founded to be the NYC of the middle east.  When Jews were deciding where to flee during WWII (those that could flee, anyway) many in TLV were adamant that TLV be their destination and not NYC.  "New York is another way station in the diaspora where people will still try to kill you while rabbis try to choke you and keep you from fighting back."

He also described how a lot of the key founders of the modern state were teenagers when they fled to Israel.  Many of them had run away from home (and their families sat shiva as if they were dead) and founded collective farms (kibbutz) together.  So you had these mini societies of teenagers. Silver talked about how they had 3 experiences, as teenagers, they could emulate:

1) Parents homes - no way
2) School - no way
3) Summer camp...

And that is why, Silver suggests, it always feels like summer camp in Israel.  And I have to tell you... it DOES.

And religion became more part of society when the first couple got married on the kibbutz and realized that they wanted a rabbi, and a huppah, and a ketubah, like they'd been raised to want. And he told a story about this grand secular leader who on his death bed asked to be buried in his tallit, which had been under his bed for 60 years.

He also talked a lot about tensions between different Jewish bodies, like Ashkenazi (Eastern European) vs Sephardi/Mizrachi (Spanish/Eastern/North African).  And he told us this quote about how a Member of Knesset (Parliament) was lamenting that all his life growing up he'd been called "jew" in Russia, and now that he's in Israel, they call him "Russian."  And another MK Responded "What happened to you is terrible, and I'm sorry you've dealt with this prejudices, but your children... all they'll ever be is Israeli."

And Silver talked about the sacrifice that immigrants to Israel make, how they will never really integrate, but they make that choice so that their children will grow up in the Jewish state and be Israeli to the core.  Which is of course something I think about a lot.

He also touched upon the idea of Anglo culture/society in Israel, which is really interesting to me.  As an Anglo considering aliyah, I think about how I can integrate into society, be more Israeli, etc.. But Silver suggested there might be something worth preserving, certain American values and viewpoints, and I guess I can get behind that. It reminds me of other cultures in the States, who try to preserve their ways of life rather than assimilating.  I've just never thought about American culture as a thing like that.  Lots to consider.

In Tel Aviv, our guest lecturer gave us a walking tour from Yaffo into Tel Aviv.  It was lovely and I learned a lot!

Yaffo from the Tel Aviv side

Rav Kook's house... kind dilapidated because I guess there's a controversy about whether it's state or private property

There was also an alumni panel, and Jonah was there! I know Jonah because we were at Ein Prat/Tikvah together last summer.

Reunited!

We did a lot of meta-discussion at orientation... big sessions about how we're going to make decisions about seminars, big discussions about what our seminar topics will be (for the first 4, we chose: archaeology, civics, the naqba, and military and Israeli society... I'm helping to organize the military one, which should be interesting.), discussions about discussions... it was a lot, I'm pretty exhausted.

Orientation ended with an activity in which we had an hour and a bunch of craft materials to make some piece of art in response to the prompt "Israel and Me, Judaism and Me."  And then we went around and wrote little notes to each other on our art.

This is mine... the kotel, a phoenix, and a wolf... I'll let you decide what you think it means

It was fun to go back to first grade for a little while and play with paint, and the other fellows wrote me really sweet, thoughtful notes that made me feel really seen and heard as part of the group.


MATAT

When I first got to Tel Aviv, Matat picked me up!!! She is one of my closest Israeli friends, we met on Birthright two years ago.

It was so amazing to see her! Kind of surreal. I can't believe 2 years ago we were bunking together on Birthright and now I live here.  I'm actually pretty proud of myself.

Anyway, Matat is amazing and hilarious and I probably laughed our whole night out in Yaffo.  I hope to see lots of her this year.

PLANS

Now that orientation is over, I need to start finalizing my schedule.  I am going to set up a Hebrew tutor, try to get into an Israeli lit class at Hebrew U, and try to find a good volunteer placement. Then I'll plug in writing time. Hopefully I can get a good start on this tomorrow!