Who Dares, Wins

It's been an extremely busy few weeks here!  So much to update you all on...

-Random Observations
-Evangelicals!
-Bus stabbing!
-Yahli!
-Charedim!
-Go-karting!
-Kibbutzing!
-Desert Hiking!

Random Observations

The other day I was Pomerantz bookstore in Jerusalem, and in their center display they had these two books side by side:

The 5 Love Languages - Military Edition! and The Zionist Idea

I just found this to be so funny and so very Anglo-Israel. Also it made me want to say this:

Also, this:

I don't understand that salad title.

Unsurprising to see this in Paris Square, Jerusalem

I liked this graffiti in Neve Tzedek.

Evangelicals!
Last week we had a seminar on Evangelical Christians and their relationship with Israel.  I had a lot of Evangelical friends growing up and in college (and I still have Evangelical friends) so this wasn't such a new topic for me, although the Israel angle was new.

We were particularly focused on the sort of Evangelicals who believe the end times are approaching. There's actually a pretty large group of Christians who believe that the New Testament promises the following...

-Jews will return to Israel
-The temple will be rebuilt
-Jews will promote a false messiah/the anti-christ
-Those who believe in Jesus Christ will rise up to heaven (the rapture)
-The rest of us will be embroiled in the biggest and bloodiest of all wars, with or without Jesus armed to the teeth and various prophets on horseback
-Once we're all gone, the saved people will return to Earth with Jesus to set up court

So what that means for Israel today is that there's a LOT of funding and political support from this particular branch of Evangelical Christianity (And I'm not saying all or even most Evangelicals see things this way...) because they see Jews returning to Israel as a step in the coming of the next world. So at first, all of this money and friendship is so flattering! And then it starts to feel more like we're turkeys being fattened up for the thanksgiving slaughter.

Fascinating!

Our field trip was to the Garden Tomb, where some people believe Jesus was actually buried, as opposed to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.

They think this was the hill on which Jesus was crucified, because it says somewhere that the hill face has a skull-shape in it, which you can kind of see in this picture, with the two eye-sockets. It's pretty clear in person.

Now there's an Arab bus station on the site!

This is the tomb

Inside the tomb

Well... peace for NOW. Then eventual, necessary, ritual slaughter of all of its inhabitants that aren't Christian :).

Bus Stabbing!
There was a stabbing on a Tel Aviv public bus last week. You can read about it here.

Basically what's worth reporting on my end is: nothing. A friend said to me, "I'm so glad you weren't there. But your day must still have been totally crazy, right?" And actually, no, it wasn't. Other than the news, nothing changed. Busses went on as usual. Everyone went on as usual. Because it's not that unusual for there to be a terrorist stabbing people here.

I'm trying to imagine what would have happened to Boston if something like this occurred. But I took my normal bus that afternoon in Tel Aviv. I don't know what else to say.

Actually there is one thing... when I woke up, I had so many texts/messages/voicemails/e-mails from people checking on me, and throughout the day my Israeli friends called me to say they were worried, even that I was nearby and startled. And I felt really cared about <3. Thanks everybody.

Yahli!
The other day, Yahli and I were going out for dinner and he said "If we take the scooter, we can go someplace farther, to the best sushi place in Tel Aviv..." and normally I say no, but I was in a particular mood and I decided what the hell!

I liked our helmets

I'll wear gloves next time Dad, I promise.

Ariane: There's no seatbelt, is there?

Yahli: Haha, no. Hold on, and just follow me, okay? When I lean left, you lean left, but not SO far left that we topple over.

Ariane: We're going to topple over?

Yahli: No.

Ariane: Be careful!

Yahli: Ariane, Wat iz dees? I am your brudder, you theenk I weel 'urt youuuuu?

Ariane: I just have to trust you, don't I?

Yahli: Yep, you have to trust me.

Ariane: Okay, I trust you.

...

...

Yahli: IS THIS REALLY YOUR FIRST TIME ON A BIKE?

Ariane: YES.

Yahli: YOU SHOULD BE SCREAMING RIGHT NOW.

Ariane: BUT IT'S FUN.

Yahli: ARE YOU SCARED YET?

Ariane: NO.

Yahli: OKAY....

...

...

Ariane: Omg... omg... OMG OMG OMG OMG OKAY I'M SCARED NOW. BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

And then another day, we had this conversation:

Ariane: You're wearing a different uniform today. Why?
Yahli: I'm guarding the base. You won't see me for the rest of the week.
Ariane: Why?
Yahli: I'm working nights.
Ariane: Aw, I don't like that. I'll miss you.
Yahli: You'll be fine.
Ariane: No I won't, I'll be sad.
Yahli: You'll survive.
Ariane: No I won't, I'll die.
Yahli: Ah. I'll take your computer, then.

Charedim

And then this week I helped plan a seminar on the Charedim, or ultra Orthodox Jews. To be honest, it was so much work that I don't feel like writing a lot about it, but here's just a little...

The highlight of the day in my opinion was a panel with Rama Burshtein and Ori Gruder. Rama directed Fill the Void, about a girl who's trying to decide if she'll marry the widower of her sister, and Ori directed Sacred Sperm, about the prohibition against ejaculating outside of intercourse with your wife.

They were both great speakers! Very honest and insightful.

And this is the Belz synagogue! It's huge. It's like its own city. It has kitchens, living quarters for the rabbi and accommodations for guests, mini synagogues and this huge one, two wedding halls, a bunch of reception rooms, study rooms, locker rooms, a huge courtyard, and a lot more.

That's a very large, very gold tetragrammaton! 

Go-Karting!

Last week I went on one of the more creative dates I've been on. We met up around 10, and we were trying to decide what to do, and he said go karts! And I said at 10 at night, in January, in Jerusalem?? and he said, yeah!  So we went!

It is a full go-kart track inside a parking garage and five floors below ground. In Jerusalem. It was really cool.

Before we could drive, we had to do this mini driving course thing just explaining about the car and the track and safety rules and stuff, and I'm pretty sure my face was just like this the whole time:

Because the guy leading the class had this giant kippa and a HUGE, like BLING star of David on and it was amazing.

So fun! 

Kibbutz-ing!

On Friday I went with Geva and Rivka to Kibbutz Zikkim, one of the last kibbutzim that is still traditionally socialist, located right on the Gaza border. On Friday nights, most of the kibbutz members eat in the communal dining hall, and it's really fun! There are tons of kids and families and it's really social.

Mmmm Kibbutz Food. Most people would think I'm kidding but actually I really like it.

Kibbutzniks!

Afterwards Rivka showed me the kitchens.  She said it's similar to an army kitchen except army kitchens have two sides - one for meat and one for dairy. But kibbutzim are classically very very secular so everything is cooked together.

Then after dinner everybody goes down into this like... hangout area.

Rivka is also a great barista.

Rivka with Paz and Tuna, back at Geva's mom's house.

Desert Hiking!

And then on Saturday we went for a hike in the Negev! 

Rivka: Everybody here is Russian.

Ariane: How do you know?

Rivka: Because fishing is not really a thing in Israel, it's not something we do. But Russians do, so you know they're Russian.

Geva: I wouldn't eat the fish from this pond though. 

Rivka: There's so much pollution.

Ariane: From Dimona?

Geva: Yeah, you sometimes find fish here with three eyes.

Ariane: Really?!?

Geva: No.

Planning our route

Uphill!

Pretty amazing views!

Selfie!

A Negev Tortoise! They are a Critically Endangered Species, because hikers used to take them home all the time.

Rivka really wanted to catch a lizard just to look at it up close and then free it again, so she spent a lot of time turning over rocks and trying to get one.  Finally Geva managed to grab one, but by its tail, and when lizards are scared they shed their tails and slowly regrow them. Here's a video of the severed tail:

Weee!

Helloooo from on top of the dam!

The whole crew!  Me, Rivka, Geva, Ayelet, Tal

And from above

Okay this is a shitty picture because we were driving while I took it out the window, but I'm trying to show the smokestacks in the distance. Basically, as you drive on the highway near Beersheva, you can see a bunch of Israeli industrial complexes on one side, and a bunch of depressing Bedouin shacks on the other.

Bedouins are claiming they're suffering higher cancer rates because of the polution, so this artist helped them create this statue called the "Desert Watcher" which, obviously, also looks like a giant penis as an additional fuck you to Israeli industry.

We also saw this statue, which is dedicated to French Jews who died fighting (Egypt, I think...) in the Independence War.

At the gas station after our hike, a bunch of dudes kept looking like they were going to pull out of their parking spot, and then didn't, and when we finally found a place to park, Rivka went over and told those dudes what she thought of them because she's amazing.

And then we ate this ENTIRE PINT of ice cream.

And then I saw all of these horses tied up at the gas station.

And then Rivka and Tuna were adorable

And then we went to a field and saw all these beautiful red flowers! We had to go through a barricade that said "CAUTION, FIRING ZONE! ABSOLUTELY NO ENTRY!" And Rivka said it was actually okay because everyone knows the army doesn't train on Shabbat.

Flowers!

A Caterpillar!

Rivka is a little anxious about a major investment she and Geva are making, and I tried to encourage her and said "high risk, high reward!" And she said, you know, that's the motto of our unit, Sayeret Matkal: Who dares, wins.

I think it's the best motto ever. Who dares, wins!!

A Testament

I want to update everyone but there haven't been major events, so here are some random things for you.

My Roomates are Great

Sometimes life in Israel feels generally similar to life in the states, and then suddenly it feels really different. Like this week, Ido had to go off for kind of like reserve duty. And this guy I know as my roomie, who is so clever and funny and makes me hot dogs and drags me out to parties, is going off with an M16 and a huge army duffle to stand guard somewhere in the West Bank in the rain for a week. This doesn't typically happen to my friends in the states.

Reporting For Duty

I'm really grateful for my roommates! They are great people who are really caring.

Today Yahli and I went out for breakfast.  He always pretends to be an asshole, but he's not actually, and every now and then he's really kind though he try's to couch it in being a jerk. Like I've been feeling intermittently kind of down and self-conscious lately, and when I got ready he said, "Aw, you look nice. Can we hold hands while we're walking to breakfast so people will think we're together?" And while we were walking, he said "Now! This guy about to pass us, he looks cool. Hold my hand." And then when the 'cool' guy was past, he said "whew! Thanks," and fixed his sunglasses.   And then he said a bunch of assholeish things, but the point is, he's very sweet and tries to cheer me up and it usually works.

Kiyomi was over the other day, and she and Yahli discussed political-correctness. As you can see, he's not a fan.

But at least they could laugh about it

Guys are Very Forward

The other day, a guy introduced himself to me and said he was a medical engineer completing his thesis, and he added "every Jewish mother's dream!"

And I said, "I don't have a Jewish mother."

I Look Like My Mom

What I didn't say is that I have a VIKING mother! here is a favorite picture of my mom:

I used to look at it and wish I looked like her.  Then I saw this picture of myself the other day:

OH SNAP! Now I do look like her. That's pretty great. Thanks for the genetics, Ma.

I Wonder If I Should Be Israeli

I have to start buckling down and making a decision about whether or not to make aliyah (immigrate to Israel). Every day I feel differently.

Pros and Cons of Living In the States
+Close to family
+Close to American friends
+Much easier to make larger quantities of money
+Linguisitic and Cultural Fluency/Comfort
+Have full rights as a citizen, like the ability to marry
+Peace
+Trader Joe's, Annie's Mac & Cheese, tech, shampoo, Victoria's Secret, other products I like that don't exist in Israel or are ridiculously expensive
+Lots of fun cities to visit in the same country

-Feels like I'm asleep all the time
-Feels like everyone around me is asleep
-Anti-semitism
-Feels like money and possessions run everyone's lives
-Far from Israeli friends
-I don't really fit in with the Jewish community
-The weather (in the northeast)
-Expensive to travel outside US


Pros and Cons of Living in Israel
+Close to Israeli friends
+Israel is breathtaking
+Feel very alive and awake
+Everyone around me feels alive and awake
+One huge Jewish community, with all different kinds of people, I feel like I fit
+I feel connected to the country and the national mission
+Jerusalem
+The weather
+Easy/relatively inexpensive access to Europe/parts of Asia

-Far from family
-Far from American friends
-Rockets/Syria/ISIS/terrorists with machetes murdering people
-Difficult to make money
-Lack key rights even as a citizen, like the ability to marry
-Linguistic/Cultural difficulties (But this is also a pro, because frankly it keeps things interesting)
-Can feel claustrophobic, basically only a few cities to hang out in
-People don't take me seriously here
-Everybody in the world constantly questioning your country's right to exist and criticizing its every move.

Basically aside from family, I think the pros of Israel are much stronger, but the cons are also much stronger. Which has always been my analysis, in general. The good and the bad in Israel are both much stronger. American life is Easier. Israeli life is more potent.

I dunno, man. Probably I'll do it and if I have to, run back to the US with my tail between my legs. Or maybe I'll just work really hard and it will work out. Or maybe I'll find some kind of job in one country or another that lets me travel back and forth.

Anybody who has thoughts is welcome to chime in.

Israel is Bad At Handling Bad Weather 

This week there was a "storm" that resulted in lots of rain and a little snow in Jerusalem. The result was that roads were blocked off around the country, the busses shut down, and people ran up and down my street shrieking.

To be a little blunt, Israel handles the snow the way Boston handles bombs - SHUT DOWN THE CITY. BRING IN THE MILITARY. EVERYBODY STAY HOME AND TRY NOT TO PANIC.

And sadly, Israel handles bombs the way Boston handles snow - Okay everybody, we've been through this before, be smart but you're all tough and can handle it.

I had a date with this dude who recently got out of some special force something or other and is now working for Shabak, and he asked if I wanted to cancel because of the rain, and I was like... you literally deal with terrorists for a living and you're afraid of the rain??? And he said OUCH, okay okay, we'll meet!

And I'm Getting Sassy

Okay these stories about me and dudes here are making me sound mean, but I think that's what happens when you've been here for a while.  Hebrew is actually Israel's second national language, the first being sass.

I heard a great story the other day about how two friends of friends met. The dude was the girl's commander, and he manipulated some stuff so she'd work with him on a project because he liked her, and he said to her one day, "Where's my coffee?" and she said "There's a coffee machine on the second floor and you can bring me one too, with two sugars." They're married now.


My Hebrew is Improving

I've been studying Hebrew a lot harder lately, and I think it's starting to show. The hardest is still listening comprehension. People speak so quickly and with slang and dialects and it's very hard for me to follow. But my reading is definitely better and so is my speaking.

In Hebrew, there is a word specifically for "wearing shoes" as opposed to wearing anything else. Also, the way you say "you're right," like the way you concede an argument with a friend, is literally translated as "Justice is with you." I love it.

I Feel Like I've Lived Multiple Lives

The other day I asked this dude to tell me something interesting, and he said "Do you know what a shogun is?" and I said "a ruler in feudal era Japan?" And he was like "How do you know that?" and I said "I did my first degree in Japanese history..."

And that got me thinking about all the stuff I know about medieval Japan, and all the Japanese I remember, and all those details about Heian Court Politics and moon-viewing-parties and the best arcades in Kyoto and the subway schedule there and it was just a surreal feeling, this other life I had.

Like right... this was also a thing that happened, this was also a place I lived, this was also a person I was. (I miss you, Nina!)

I've been doing a lot of stuff on my own lately

Not because I have to, I just think it's important. Going to new cafes, new museums, long walks in new neighborhoods, taking busses to new towns. I just think it's important to be really comfortable by yourself, and mostly I'm not really comfortable with it, so I'm leaning into the discomfort.  Cities and countries are different when you experience them alone, and things are sharper and more beautiful. Partially I'm inspired by Rilke and partially by this poem. 

But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept...

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life's magic things in reach. 

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that community's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or a religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it. 

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed 

If your heart is bleeding make the best of it 

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

When You're Friends with a Tour Guide

For the millionth time, I'm feeling really lucky that I met Rivka. For those of you who don't remember, I met her on Taglit, my very first day I was ever in Israel. She is an incredible person. She is really smart, and endlessly kind. She's always gone out of her way to make me feel at home in Israel. She's also a licensed tour guide, which in Israel means you have a LOT of training. So she's always taking me cool places and teaching me new things.  Here are some adventures we went on lately...

I hope someday that Rivka visits New Hampshire or Boston, or that she's somehow in desperate need of a novelist's particular skills, or that she's just dying to know a thing or two about premodern Japanese history, so that I begin to show her the kindness that she has shown me :).

We went to the "British Park", so named because it's preserved by funding from British Jews. Everything in Israel has a name like that, basically every square inch of the country is sponsored by someone.  It's so green in the winter! There were really pretty ruins of... something.

Family portrait!

Awwwww <3 Best couple ever.

Tuna in a little sweater!

We looked at the different flowers, this is a rare Israeli iris.

And Rivka's brother, sister-in-law, niece, and their friends showed up and we all had tea and enjoyed the view

It was a very lovely view

Tuna had a wardrobe change.

Then we went to a beautiful monastery. I don't think it's particularly significant but that's kind of what struck me about the day, how many beautiful places there are in Israel that most people don't even know are there.

It was really lovely.

Then today, Rivka had a class in Tel Aviv so she came a bit early and we had coffee together, and she told me that the outlet mall I walk pass every time I go to the train station is actually a renovated Templer village!  I had no idea!

The Templers were German christians who came to Eretz Israel in the 1800s. They're called Templars because they believe you don't really need a house of worship, because we human beings are each a temple for God.  Anyway they set up this village in the place where Tel Aviv now is, and they hung out there until WWII, when the British were in control and booted them to Australia (since they were German). I was just reading about it and apparently Israel paid reparations for the nationalized property which I just find kind of hilarious in the grand scheme of things (the grand scheme including that a portion of the Templers were members of the nazi party). It just amazes me how many times Israel takes the high road and how few times the world seems to notice. 

Anyway now the houses have been turned into a really nice outlet mall.  Only in Israel!

This used to be a Templer community center, and now it's an Adidas outlet!

The old blacksmith's shop in the foreground, and the old school house in the background

This little figure on the shutter swings, and they say that if a woman was having an affair, she'd flip it up to let her lover know her husband was home.

The first bowling alley in Israel. For serious. It's built next to the old beer garden... you get two chances, and if you knock down all the pins you get your beer for free, otherwise you have to pay for it. I went on a date in that beer garden (well, the renovated one) back in August! It's nice. It reminded me of Boston. You can't bowl anymore, though.

An old laundry station, with laundry detergent they found left behind by the Templers. I just found it so funny how you can go to the GAP and then you can see these bits of museum scattered around the place.

And then in this men's clothing store you can see the original painting on the border of the wall

Bits of the original wallpaper along with the restoration

Well, now I have a lot more to think about when I pass through there on my way to the train :).  I think I want to spend a lot of the spring hiring guides to show me around every single place, haha. Every place has such an interesting story.

Also, here's a song that's been stuck in my head because it mentions the road that the train station is on (HaShalom), so every time I go there I start singing it:

Rivka translated it for me in the car the other day and the words are really dumb, just about how it's so hot in Tel Aviv and this girl invites him back to her place and they don't sleep and it's hot. And it's humid, and did he mention it's humid? Because it's humid. And hot.

But it's catchy! And you can hear a Yemenite accent in Hebrew.