A Testament

I want to update everyone but there haven't been major events, so here are some random things for you.

My Roomates are Great

Sometimes life in Israel feels generally similar to life in the states, and then suddenly it feels really different. Like this week, Ido had to go off for kind of like reserve duty. And this guy I know as my roomie, who is so clever and funny and makes me hot dogs and drags me out to parties, is going off with an M16 and a huge army duffle to stand guard somewhere in the West Bank in the rain for a week. This doesn't typically happen to my friends in the states.

Reporting For Duty

I'm really grateful for my roommates! They are great people who are really caring.

Today Yahli and I went out for breakfast.  He always pretends to be an asshole, but he's not actually, and every now and then he's really kind though he try's to couch it in being a jerk. Like I've been feeling intermittently kind of down and self-conscious lately, and when I got ready he said, "Aw, you look nice. Can we hold hands while we're walking to breakfast so people will think we're together?" And while we were walking, he said "Now! This guy about to pass us, he looks cool. Hold my hand." And then when the 'cool' guy was past, he said "whew! Thanks," and fixed his sunglasses.   And then he said a bunch of assholeish things, but the point is, he's very sweet and tries to cheer me up and it usually works.

Kiyomi was over the other day, and she and Yahli discussed political-correctness. As you can see, he's not a fan.

But at least they could laugh about it

Guys are Very Forward

The other day, a guy introduced himself to me and said he was a medical engineer completing his thesis, and he added "every Jewish mother's dream!"

And I said, "I don't have a Jewish mother."

I Look Like My Mom

What I didn't say is that I have a VIKING mother! here is a favorite picture of my mom:

I used to look at it and wish I looked like her.  Then I saw this picture of myself the other day:

OH SNAP! Now I do look like her. That's pretty great. Thanks for the genetics, Ma.

I Wonder If I Should Be Israeli

I have to start buckling down and making a decision about whether or not to make aliyah (immigrate to Israel). Every day I feel differently.

Pros and Cons of Living In the States
+Close to family
+Close to American friends
+Much easier to make larger quantities of money
+Linguisitic and Cultural Fluency/Comfort
+Have full rights as a citizen, like the ability to marry
+Peace
+Trader Joe's, Annie's Mac & Cheese, tech, shampoo, Victoria's Secret, other products I like that don't exist in Israel or are ridiculously expensive
+Lots of fun cities to visit in the same country

-Feels like I'm asleep all the time
-Feels like everyone around me is asleep
-Anti-semitism
-Feels like money and possessions run everyone's lives
-Far from Israeli friends
-I don't really fit in with the Jewish community
-The weather (in the northeast)
-Expensive to travel outside US


Pros and Cons of Living in Israel
+Close to Israeli friends
+Israel is breathtaking
+Feel very alive and awake
+Everyone around me feels alive and awake
+One huge Jewish community, with all different kinds of people, I feel like I fit
+I feel connected to the country and the national mission
+Jerusalem
+The weather
+Easy/relatively inexpensive access to Europe/parts of Asia

-Far from family
-Far from American friends
-Rockets/Syria/ISIS/terrorists with machetes murdering people
-Difficult to make money
-Lack key rights even as a citizen, like the ability to marry
-Linguistic/Cultural difficulties (But this is also a pro, because frankly it keeps things interesting)
-Can feel claustrophobic, basically only a few cities to hang out in
-People don't take me seriously here
-Everybody in the world constantly questioning your country's right to exist and criticizing its every move.

Basically aside from family, I think the pros of Israel are much stronger, but the cons are also much stronger. Which has always been my analysis, in general. The good and the bad in Israel are both much stronger. American life is Easier. Israeli life is more potent.

I dunno, man. Probably I'll do it and if I have to, run back to the US with my tail between my legs. Or maybe I'll just work really hard and it will work out. Or maybe I'll find some kind of job in one country or another that lets me travel back and forth.

Anybody who has thoughts is welcome to chime in.

Israel is Bad At Handling Bad Weather 

This week there was a "storm" that resulted in lots of rain and a little snow in Jerusalem. The result was that roads were blocked off around the country, the busses shut down, and people ran up and down my street shrieking.

To be a little blunt, Israel handles the snow the way Boston handles bombs - SHUT DOWN THE CITY. BRING IN THE MILITARY. EVERYBODY STAY HOME AND TRY NOT TO PANIC.

And sadly, Israel handles bombs the way Boston handles snow - Okay everybody, we've been through this before, be smart but you're all tough and can handle it.

I had a date with this dude who recently got out of some special force something or other and is now working for Shabak, and he asked if I wanted to cancel because of the rain, and I was like... you literally deal with terrorists for a living and you're afraid of the rain??? And he said OUCH, okay okay, we'll meet!

And I'm Getting Sassy

Okay these stories about me and dudes here are making me sound mean, but I think that's what happens when you've been here for a while.  Hebrew is actually Israel's second national language, the first being sass.

I heard a great story the other day about how two friends of friends met. The dude was the girl's commander, and he manipulated some stuff so she'd work with him on a project because he liked her, and he said to her one day, "Where's my coffee?" and she said "There's a coffee machine on the second floor and you can bring me one too, with two sugars." They're married now.


My Hebrew is Improving

I've been studying Hebrew a lot harder lately, and I think it's starting to show. The hardest is still listening comprehension. People speak so quickly and with slang and dialects and it's very hard for me to follow. But my reading is definitely better and so is my speaking.

In Hebrew, there is a word specifically for "wearing shoes" as opposed to wearing anything else. Also, the way you say "you're right," like the way you concede an argument with a friend, is literally translated as "Justice is with you." I love it.

I Feel Like I've Lived Multiple Lives

The other day I asked this dude to tell me something interesting, and he said "Do you know what a shogun is?" and I said "a ruler in feudal era Japan?" And he was like "How do you know that?" and I said "I did my first degree in Japanese history..."

And that got me thinking about all the stuff I know about medieval Japan, and all the Japanese I remember, and all those details about Heian Court Politics and moon-viewing-parties and the best arcades in Kyoto and the subway schedule there and it was just a surreal feeling, this other life I had.

Like right... this was also a thing that happened, this was also a place I lived, this was also a person I was. (I miss you, Nina!)

I've been doing a lot of stuff on my own lately

Not because I have to, I just think it's important. Going to new cafes, new museums, long walks in new neighborhoods, taking busses to new towns. I just think it's important to be really comfortable by yourself, and mostly I'm not really comfortable with it, so I'm leaning into the discomfort.  Cities and countries are different when you experience them alone, and things are sharper and more beautiful. Partially I'm inspired by Rilke and partially by this poem. 

But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept...

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life's magic things in reach. 

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that community's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or a religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it. 

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed 

If your heart is bleeding make the best of it 

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.