Traveling before Shabbat is kind of a shit-show, because everyone is trying to get home before Shabbat sets in. The bus from Jerusalem to Petach Tikvah quickly filled, and they kept letting people on after all the seats were gone. I only realized there were no seats as I was halfway down the aisle and surrounded by people on both sides so... I sat on the floor and hugged the orchid I was bringing to give to Matat's family :). (I like bringing flowers on Shabbat since I don't drink wine and am totally clueless in a wine store.)
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| Me and a Yeshiva boy and the orchids and a lot of people's feet |
But so worth it, because Matat picked me up at the station and we caught up all afternoon. She is such an incredible friend. She's so easy to talk to and she's hilarious and she really makes me feel at home.
Ariane: So can I use the soap and shampoo and stuff that's in the shower?
Matat: ...Is this a question I should ask in the States?
Ariane: Well, in the US, the answer would almost definitely be 'yes,' but sure, it's polite to ask.
Matat: In Israel this is an absurd question. You are my girl, we are sisters. Of course, yes, of course. Don't ask this.
Something Matat says I think illustrates how different I am in Israel. Matat has only ever seen me in Israel, and so she said, "Ariane, you are not a hater. You are just love love love all the time. You love everyone and you're always happy."
Matat's mother, Anati, made a spectacular dinner with about a million courses... chicken, fish, ravioli, rice, stuffed peppers (FROM HEAVEN!), several salads, baba ganoush, tons more... plus several deserts including amazing honey cake. (She gave me an entire cake to take home with me, too... YUM.) It was so nice to be with a family on Shabbat, and I really felt included. Dudu (her dad) gave lots of fatherly advice, Anati brought more more food, her baby brother Elon teased as baby brothers do. Shabbat is meant for family time! I feel really lucky to get to experience that with them. :)
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| Dudu let me try a bite of his favorite dessert... challah with tons of butter and honey on it. It was delicious. |
On Living in Jerusalem
Dudu: Let me give you some advice as an American living in Jerusalem. You are American, and you should always stay American. Jerusalem is a magical place. You will, I hope, meet many very interesting people. They will try to lead you down many paths, sometimes down a path that is not your own. If you meet someone who dazzles you, you need to stop and find someone who knows you and talk to them before you do anything. You shouldn't ever undo who you are, but only build on top of it. All the values and experiences you were brought up with... build on top of them, but don't throw them away. If you throw them away, you will be just... a puppy in the circus. Do you understand? For example, I was raised Orthodox. I don't say kiddish anymore. I drive on Shabbat, now. But I was raised that way and no one can ever take it from me.
On Israeli Attitudes in Business
Matat: Yeah, in Israel, it's hard to make it because everybody here is trying to be in the top of the heap. Not a lot of people are so complacent here, we're all trying to be the king. We can't all be the king. I think it's because of something no one says but it's the truth: we do things now and we do them fast because any day we might die.
On Racial Tensions and Real Estate
Dudu is very concerned (rightfully so) about racism in Israel, and we talked a lot about this. He said "Let me tell you a joke to illustrate the problem. So there's this town, in which Arabs and Jews live side by side. And there was an Arab family, and a Jewish family, and they were neighbors, and they got along fine. One day, the Jew decided he wanted to remodel his house, so he brought in a team and started building. And a few weeks later, he noticed that his Arab neighbor was remodeling his house in the exact same design. So the Jew decided to paint his fence green, and he brought in painters, and soon enough, his Arab neighbor also painted his fence green. So finally the Jew went to his neighbor and he said, "What are you doing?" And the Arab said, "I'm remodeling my house, what are you doing?" and the Jew said, "Yes, I am remodeling my house, too. I want to sell it. Why are you doing that?" And the Arab said, "I also want to sell my house." And the Jew said, "Well how much do you want for your house?" And the Arab said, "400,000 shekels. How much do you want for yours?" And the Jew said, "I want 200,000 shekels. Why do you want 400,000? Why so much?" And the Arab said, "Because I don't have any Arab neighbors."
I recommended he read "The Case for Reparations", and I recommend you read it too if you haven't already! Not that I would make a direct correlation in any way, but the resulting dynamics are similar.
On Romance and Road Trips
Dudu: When I was in the states I traveled all over! Washington, Miami, New York, Chicago, LA, The Grand Canyon, Zion National Park...
Ariane: Yes! I think I want to make aliyah next fall, but before that, over the summer, I want to go back to the US and do a huge road trip all over... see yellowstone... the badlands...
Dudu: Then you will never come back to Israel.
Ariane: What? No, you said that last summer, and look, here I am.
Dudu: On your road trip you will find a man, your man, and then you will never come back to Israel.
Anati: Better that you find a man in Israel, take him on your road trip, and then come back here!
Dudu: Yes, because as chazal said, when you find a partner, you find an owner. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, when you find a partner, you find an owner.
Ariane: You guys own each other, huh?
Dudu: Yes, for 30 years!
On The Current Political Climate
Dudu: There is a storm brewing over Israel. People saying we have no right to exist. It's very scary, very dangerous. It's a storm, and drops are falling on Jews all over the world.
On Shabbat in Jerusalem, And Being A Jew in the Jewish Nation
Dudu: Of course, Shabbat in Jerusalem is like nowhere else in the world. You have to confront yourself. What kind of person do I want to be? What do I want to do? Am I afraid of being alone? But you're not alone. You go out into the street and you see all the people walking around like you. And you realize you are not alone, you live in Israel, and you are never alone.
On Writing
Dudu: When you finish writing something, a part of you dies. When you have a great experience and you write about it, you can never get it back. It's gone from you.
This last one has given me a lot of pause. It's true that when I write something, I usually feel a closure about it that I didn't before, but I always thought that was a good thing. And actually, I think writing preserves experiences for me. I love to look back at my blog entries about previous trips, there are details there that I'd forgotten, bits of memories that I'd lost.
That said, for all I write about here on this blog, there's 80% more I don't write about, because it's too personal, or it might defame someone, or I'm still waiting to see how things turn out before I decide how to describe them. Do I also not write about them because I don't want to lose ownership over those experiences? Is that were "too personal" comes in, or is it something else? Lots to ponder.
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| Matat and her Dad |
In the morning, Anati made another delicious breakfast and then Elon drove me to the sheirut to go into Tel Aviv. On Shabbat, busses do not run as I've said, but in Tel Aviv, he sheirut runs. It's like a big van that goes along a set route and stops when you ask the driver to pull over. They used to intimidate me because of my bad Hebrew, but now that I have a smart phone with GPS, I just look at the map and I know enough Hebrew to indicate when I want to get off.
Anyway I met up with Sam at Matat's cafe and we spent the afternoon just chatting and eating and catching up. Daniel from Ein Prat came by to say hi, too! Apparently one of the creators of the Iron Dome was in the cafe with all his little daughters. Matat said he was nice!
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| Ariane, Sam, delicious food. |
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| Sisters - אחיות - Achot <3 |
So grateful for amazing friends and this beautiful country. Shavua Tov, everybody! <3 Love love love to you from Israel-Ariane.
Love, love, love...that says it all. Wonderful of you to above all capture what is the highest on the mountain of life, family. I had to remove my glasses though when Dudu began to offer his wisdom and when he told a story delivered in a light way in joke form to illustrate his thoughts I began to cry (which on some level I knew was coming as soon as i lifted my glasses). My father was such a teacher to all people and would give advice to all on what it was to be your best self and always illustrate with stories...This is what is overall lacking in our culture. I miss that presence in my life
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